Don’t go near Indianapolis in July

If you want to stay in your comfort zone, don’t plan to be in Indianapolis July 7 or 8.

If you are in that city, don’t go near St. Luke’s UMC.

In that Indianapolis church, UM men will be challenged to leave their comfort zones to combat domestic violence, engage in accountability groups, and learn that “discipleship” is a “contact sport.”

Featured speakers for the July meeting include: Mississippi Area Bishop James Swanson Sr., president of the General Commission on UM Men; South Carolina Area Bishop Jonathan Holston; Shan Foster, national director of MEND, a YWCA program combatting domestic violence; and Dr. Kevin Watson, assistant professor of Methodist and Wesleyan Studies at Candler School of Theology and author of The Class Meeting: Reclaiming a Forgotten (and Essential) Small Group Experience.

You are warned to avoid attending this event as you will have to make difficult choices.

On Saturday, you will have to choose among a host of practical workshops and several mission projects. To make that decision-making process even more difficult, you could also elect to participate in a fun event that will force you to make friends with strangers.

Also, don’t plan to bring your wife to Indianapolis. You’ll be forced to choose between one of 30 carefully selected motels and dine in some of the fine restaurants. You will have to choose among side trips to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, the Indianapolis Zoo, the Museum of Art, the Central Canal, the Indiana War Memorial, the Eiteljor Museum, the Indiana Repertory Theatre, the State Capitol, and the Civil War Museum and Soldiers and Sailors Monument.

As you can see, travel to Indianapolis this July could reduce your time watching television reruns and you could miss the day you would normally mow your lawn.

You have been warned.