The $64 question

"THE QUESTION"

(ponderings as I read Matthew 16:13-20)

THE QUESTION

There are those days
when my head is lowered
in the “I should haves’
or “I could haves” but “didn’ts”.
In those days, my eyes are downcast.
He is looking directly at me.
I don’t need to look his way …
I sense in his voice, disappointment.
I can hear an occasional sigh.
Yet, his eyes don’t turn away from me.
He has seen my stumbling.
He has heard words carelessly pour out of my mouth
and he has heard my deafening silence of omission.
And yet, if I would only look up
I could see his love for me
even as he shakes his head and whispers,
“So like Peter.  So, so like Peter.”

There are those days
when Jesus once more looks directly at me …
into my eyes.
He gently lifts my lowered head and asks,
“But what about you?  Who do you say that I am?”
All movement around me comes to a standstill.
The others near me freeze into place for a moment.
I can hear my own breathing
and even though I could turn my eyes away,
I don’t.

Others around me vie for his attention.
Hands shoot up as if they are children in a classroom.
“Pick me!  Oh, pick me!  I know the answer,” they shout.
Some are guesses … “A prophet!  Elijah!
John the Baptist!  Jeremiah!”
The others speak in words
that are different from my own …
words that seem memorized,
as if preparing for a test ...
pouring from the head and not from the heart.

There are those days
when I am asked THE QUESTION.
He waits for no answer other than mine.
In words that I barely recognize, I answer,
"You are the Messiah!  You are my LORD."
The words spill out from the seeking place in my heart.
Spilling out from his heart are words as well.
“Blessed are you.  These words did not come
from those who have memorized them
or from those who have borrowed words from others;
you have heard this from my Father!"

There are those days … actually each and every day,
when the implications of this answered question
cannot be ignored.
I have called him ‘Messiah’;
I have called him 'LORD';
He has called me ‘Disciple’
and placed me on a new path
paved with Solid Rock.

(c)2014 anna murdock